Monday 29 August 2016

Say No To Burn Out

Blessed Love and Power

As Dawtas InI wear many crowns: InI are sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, friends and business women all at once. Although a kingman has his own share of duties and roles, I honestly don't think it can compare to the roles and duties of a wombman.

A man can come home from work and relax after work, but not a wombman, our duties run from sun up til eyes close - meals have to be prepared, clothes have to wash, house has to tidy, business has to be tended to if you're self employed, children have to be settled for bed, homework tended to, homeschool schedule tended to, there are no set working hours for InI.

A kingman can go on vacation from work and relax as he sees fit, help if he wants to, be out all day if he wants to, sleep late if he wants to, but a wife or mother can never do that unless HE is willing to take over her duties! Think about it, InI can go on a family vacation to a beach house or something, but mama still has to rise up early and get everyone dressed, meals prepared, she still has to keep the place in order, still has to cater to every single need of the family.
The only vacation a mama gets is when she is given that vacation without the yutes, or if papa says "I will do it, you relax!"

The old saying "No rest for the weary" never gets old in truth.
InI can easily find ourselves burnt out because as wombman we never.stop.going. InI Never Stop Going!

And sometimes it feels like the kingman dem dont get it! To hear a one complain about vacation over, work starting back etc. but YOU never get a vacation because you still doing the same things everyday without a break of your own. There is no end to the cycle of mama/wifey duties! There is no vacation even when it's vacation for everyone else!

It is important that InI as Wombman find and demand the time for ourselves or we'll burn out - we'll be sour and in bad moods, we'll feel physically ill, mentally fatigued and overall unhappy.

Somehow, sometime, somewhere it is a must that InI have ME TIME.REAL ME TIME
I know many of us don't like to send our yutes to be under the care of others, even if they are family members, I am guilty of that always, but we also have to be reasonable and think about our own selves, and give ourselves one day of peace and quiet, of doing nothing - and I don't mean a day to stay home and clean but a day of no duties whatsoever besides self-pampering, reading, listening to music or just resting in bed! No one to dictate our pace or set the tone!

I know it's an impossible feat sometimes especially when InI don't have the family or even kingman support that is necessary to make it happen. I live in a country different to where I grew up and long for the extra help from my mum or brother who love my children and would gladly keep them for a day or two.

But where there's a will there is a way, and InI have to acknowledge that InI are worthy of rest, and worthy of time to just be ourselves, free of pressure and constant service to others. InI must stand up for our right to relax and rejuvenate rather than always just being slaves to our duties - cause that's how it feel sometimes. While we love the family, it can be OVERWHELMING.  Self love and service is the foundation of loving and serving others.

InI have to have these conversations with our kings and make them see how much we need help when we feel like we are at our breaking points. Hopefully the kings will be willing to support us and offer to help rather than be nagged into helping. All wives ask for is a little initiative, for our kings to read the signs from us. It is not selfish to ask for time alone, neither should it be something that sparks a quarrel when the issue is raised. Mutual overstanding and support makes a happy marriage.

In the meantime, to take the time daily before the yutes rise or after the house is quiet at night is also important, but hard as well. Use the quiet hours for Ises and exercise, reading an inspirational word to set the mind right for the day. It is also necessary to protect the I from burnout: Eat well, rest enough every night, keep hydrated and listen to the body. Visit Nature, tend the garden. Make time to meet with other sistren and just relax, even if the yutes are there. Laughter is great medicine too!

InI must become mistresses of stealing time if we are to keep ourselves strong and mentally capable of being the Super Wombman that everyone thinks we are!

Love Thy Self, Protect the Crown and Listen to your Heart
Say no to Burn Out
Ila