Say No To Burn Out

Blessed Love and Power

As Dawtas InI wear many crowns: InI are sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, friends and business women all at once. Although a kingman has his own share of duties and roles, I honestly don't think it can compare to the roles and duties of a wombman.

A man can come home from work and relax after work, but not a wombman, our duties run from sun up til eyes close - meals have to be prepared, clothes have to wash, house has to tidy, business has to be tended to if you're self employed, children have to be settled for bed, homework tended to, homeschool schedule tended to, there are no set working hours for InI.

A kingman can go on vacation from work and relax as he sees fit, help if he wants to, be out all day if he wants to, sleep late if he wants to, but a wife or mother can never do that unless HE is willing to take over her duties! Think about it, InI can go on a family vacation to a beach house or something, but mama still has to rise up early and get everyone dressed, meals prepared, she still has to keep the place in order, still has to cater to every single need of the family.
The only vacation a mama gets is when she is given that vacation without the yutes, or if papa says "I will do it, you relax!"

The old saying "No rest for the weary" never gets old in truth.
InI can easily find ourselves burnt out because as wombman we never.stop.going. InI Never Stop Going!

And sometimes it feels like the kingman dem dont get it! To hear a one complain about vacation over, work starting back etc. but YOU never get a vacation because you still doing the same things everyday without a break of your own. There is no end to the cycle of mama/wifey duties! There is no vacation even when it's vacation for everyone else!

It is important that InI as Wombman find and demand the time for ourselves or we'll burn out - we'll be sour and in bad moods, we'll feel physically ill, mentally fatigued and overall unhappy.

Somehow, sometime, somewhere it is a must that InI have ME TIME.REAL ME TIME
I know many of us don't like to send our yutes to be under the care of others, even if they are family members, I am guilty of that always, but we also have to be reasonable and think about our own selves, and give ourselves one day of peace and quiet, of doing nothing - and I don't mean a day to stay home and clean but a day of no duties whatsoever besides self-pampering, reading, listening to music or just resting in bed! No one to dictate our pace or set the tone!

I know it's an impossible feat sometimes especially when InI don't have the family or even kingman support that is necessary to make it happen. I live in a country different to where I grew up and long for the extra help from my mum or brother who love my children and would gladly keep them for a day or two.

But where there's a will there is a way, and InI have to acknowledge that InI are worthy of rest, and worthy of time to just be ourselves, free of pressure and constant service to others. InI must stand up for our right to relax and rejuvenate rather than always just being slaves to our duties - cause that's how it feel sometimes. While we love the family, it can be OVERWHELMING.  Self love and service is the foundation of loving and serving others.

InI have to have these conversations with our kings and make them see how much we need help when we feel like we are at our breaking points. Hopefully the kings will be willing to support us and offer to help rather than be nagged into helping. All wives ask for is a little initiative, for our kings to read the signs from us. It is not selfish to ask for time alone, neither should it be something that sparks a quarrel when the issue is raised. Mutual overstanding and support makes a happy marriage.

In the meantime, to take the time daily before the yutes rise or after the house is quiet at night is also important, but hard as well. Use the quiet hours for Ises and exercise, reading an inspirational word to set the mind right for the day. It is also necessary to protect the I from burnout: Eat well, rest enough every night, keep hydrated and listen to the body. Visit Nature, tend the garden. Make time to meet with other sistren and just relax, even if the yutes are there. Laughter is great medicine too!

InI must become mistresses of stealing time if we are to keep ourselves strong and mentally capable of being the Super Wombman that everyone thinks we are!

Love Thy Self, Protect the Crown and Listen to your Heart
Say no to Burn Out
Ila

RasTafari WiseMind Magazine July 2016 issue

Blessed Love

I post the July issue of WiseMind Magazine here.
This issue features my article on Rastafari King and Queen Conduct which I posted here on the blog a while ago. I give thanks to be a part of the newsletter again.
The newsletter this month features some great words of the elders, calling us to wake up to the social and political atmosphere that is brewing against Afrikans of the Diaspora. So much of our brothers and sisters are suffering right now in America and we must remember to keep taking our own stand against the system. Support black business, keep your money out of Babylon as much as possible - find a way in your life to be a revolutionary, This is what RasTafari stands for. Now is the time for us to lead by example, to show Afrikan pride in the West and remember the suffering of our elders and ancestors. We must take a stand against the injustice just as the Emperor did and would have Himself.

Give thanks to Ras Ravin and Itrice Beepath for their works in bringing the voices of Rastafari to the world. Let InI learn and grow with one another.

Please remember to view my latest contributions to the RasTafari community at www.farifacts.com 

RasTafari Love!
Ila

RasTafari Wisemind Newsletter June 2016 Issue

Beloved Sistren and Bredren

Here is your link to the June 2016 Wisemind The People's Voice Newsletter Publication.

It includes a special article on Dr Jahzani Kush the author of Roaring Lioness! She is definitely an inspirational pioneering Rastafari Empress.

Give thanks if you share this, please spread it around


Ila

RasTafari Wisemind May News Letter

Greetings and Blessed Love

Just want to share the May 2016 edition of the Wisemind The People's Voice Magazine. This is
 a RasTafari Newsletter which is an effort of the Elders to teach and conserve RasTafari trodition, as well as to voice concerns on the Livity - areas that InI need to improve upon or take heed of more in this time.
Back when I operated under the name of Empress Gong I too was a contributor of Ras Ravin's newsletters so I give thanks to see this Elder still issuing important word sound power to the community.
Give thanks for Life and Light and Idance of RasTafari in this time! Works must forward!

Let me know if the link doesn't work

Wisemind Magazine


RasTafari Love
Ila

Womb Wellness Salad and Dressing

Blessed Love Sistars and Bredren!

So I have been continuing with incorporating as many raw foods into my daily livity as I can - each day varies as does each week. Some days I just don't have enough fruits and veggies to eat mainly raw til dinnertime, other days I do. So it's about finding a balance each day. I have however, definitely cut out snack and sugary or salty foods - no more cheat meals on that end. I have also stopped using marijuana - I stopped smoking a while back, only vaping, but now I am on a break from vaping as well. I am actually hoping to eat the oil instead. This is just what I need to do for myself. I thought my withdrawal would be horrible, but it's been a week and I feel great, no side effects.

So today I just want to share a simple salad and dressing that are great for the womb and overall wellness.  This meal is good for mental clarity and energy/iron levels. Please note bredren that though I provide a lot of information for Dawtas  - you can still try these meals because they are overall healthy no matter your gender. Furthermore you can serve your wife these meals, you can ensure she buys the correct foods to keep herself and you - and the family, healthy and fit. Livity is a partnership - a man must see his woman's womb as his own. he must see her physical struggles as his own, have compassion for his mate for life. Likewise a Dawta can use my recipes to create her own kitchen healing magic - everything I post you can get creative with and make your own substitutes based on what you and your family like or need!

Note this salad and dressing is meant to serve one person, it is a whole meal.

Salad:

4 small-medium tomatoes
1 leaf kale
2 leaves lettuce
4 leaves bok choy or pakchoy, whatever you call it (chinese cabbage)
 or you can use spinach or chard - really any combination of greens you have at home will be good!
1 large cucumber or 2 medium, 3 small
2 stalks of chive/green onion/scallions
1 bunch parsley
half a beet or a whole one if small

chop everything up, grate the beet and put them in your big bowl

Dressing


ToMango Dressing

1 small Mango
3 small-medium Tomatoes
1 pimento
1 sprig parsley
Half 1 leaf of leek
4 chives

celery leaves
1 tamarind pulp not seed (optional)

thumb turmeric (or 1 tsp ground turmeric)
1 tbsp coconut oil
½ tsp salt



Soak tamarind in water for 15 minutes
Extract mango flesh from seed,
Slice tomatoes and take out seeds
Use a knife and scrape the tamarind flesh from the seeds into the blender container. Combine all the other ingredients and blend til it becomes creamy.

Smother your salad and mix well. You will use all the dressing!

What a great and refreshing meal that will help reduce your experiences with bad and painful periods!

Eating these types of meals daily will eliminate period pains and reduce the blood flow. Turmeric is great for treating the womb as is beetroot. Parsley detoxes the blood.

Be sure to keep up with my Ital Livity practices on Instagram @rastawifeline

Blessed Love

Ila

Rastafari King and Queen Conduct

Selamta

I want to talk about RasTafari King and Queen Conduct...in relationships...in finding and keeping or being with a KingMan or Empress.

Only because I know some Sistren are struggling with relationship issues with their husbands - and have expressed these feelings towards I. They feel (and rightly so) that it is a topic that I should revisit on RastaWifeLine. And I know that I have slacked off in dealing with these more personal yet popular and troublesome issues in the community in favour of Wellness and Livity. But I realize now that many of you value my opinion on these things that affect our lives so strongly, and more importantly, look to RastaWifeLine for comfort as much as knowledge. So I apologize to my Sistren for not fulfilling more of these personal needs beyond wellness.

First of all, what I say, is not because my life is perfect, or because I have it all together and I believe myself to be "most-holy" or that I am being judgmental. I don't have a perfect life or relationship - but I am fortunate to have a stable home life because InI are committed to one another and stay faithful through thick and thin. InI believe in hard work and doing what is necessary to satisfy each other - and even in this we aren't perfect, there are things I wish he would do more and things he wishes I would do more. And so sometimes InI may disagree and argue, but these times are few and far in between, and InI put family first over all else.

 Now, having said that, I address the issue that way too many Rastafari couples are battling today: cheating and polygamy.

I-Majesty Haile Sellassie is our benchmark for relationships - He and Empress Menen were married for many many years, sharing many joys and sorrows, They struggled to protect Themselves and the Royal household from being murdered by Mussolini. They were forced to flee their home and comfortable living to seek refuge in Bath England - living in poverty and hardship in exile. They were then forced to live separately throughout the exile as well - Her Majesty moved to Eyerusalem because Her health suffered in the cold and damp weather in England.  They then came together again to rebuild Ethiopia after 1941 until the Empress transitioned on February 15th 1962.
It was not an easy road but They loved and supported one another in good times and in the very bad times.The Emperor even created the Fidelity Award for Ethiopians who were joined in holy and loyal matrimony. It was an important covenant -marriage, especially when endorsed by the Church.
Both the Emperor and Empress were previously married in civil marriages - marriage that was arranged for economic and political purposes. Such marriages could easily be annulled or expired at will, but a Church Marriage, which They had, was considered holy and sanctioned by the Almighty.

But this is not to say that They lived free of marital problems!
In the book King of Kings written by Ras Kassa's grandson Asserate, he divulged a family secret: that the Emperor once considered leaving Menen for a Princess of Tigray in 1930! This princess was extremely beautiful, and it would have been a political alliance that would have benefited the Emperor when He ascended the throne. But His cousin who was like His brother and best friend, Ras Kassa Asserate, talked Tafari out of it! It was a ridiculous idea. Empress Menen's reaction, (for the author, Asserate had overheard the Empress telling his own mother the story) was that if Tafari had left her, she would have married his enemy Ras Hailu. She would not have taken such a slight, lying down, as InI would say.
When I read this I was shocked, as I am sure you are too; but not so shocked that I couldn't believe it, for They are real people in a real marriage, and Ethiopia at that time had very unstable marriage laws and practices as I mentioned. No marriage is ever free from outside influence, or from its own internal problems no matter how it looks on the outside. He truly was like King David and Solomon, in having experiences with women and their beauty. Even His own father as well, for Ras makonnen left his wife for Lady Yeshimebet, because she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

 The lesson to learn is that They did the right thing over any feelings or agendas They may have had. Tafari was counselled in the right manner, and given good advice by His closest ally. He didn't do something so drastic, thinking only of HIMSelf and not His wife or children. He loved His Family dearly and always ensured that they were provided for in spite of His political goals.

So why can't Bredren do what's right in spite of their own goals? Today are Bredren giving one another good counsel? Are they raspecting the covenant of marriage? Are they honouring the vows they made to their wives? Are Bredren doing everything in their power to provide for their children and their women?
Many Bredren are cheating on their wives, failing to support their children, and forcing them into polygamous marriages and lifestyles which is wrong. A polygamous marriage is not supposed to be one where the women are fighting against one another, hiding from one another, hating one another. A polygamous marriage is a compound family and union between man and women who agree to live cordially and raspectfully - in my naïve opinion. The women create schedules among themselves, distributing the care of their husband, children and home. It works for everybody, and when it doesn't it is mutually resolved and raspected.

It cannot function without mutual agreements, otherwise, the first wife will always be the loser, the one feeling betrayed, disraspected and unloved. A wombman is the backbone of the family, and while she is expected to carry-on for the sake of the family, never showing signs of weakness - this is an unreasonable request or expected behaviour, for she has feelings and she needs to feel supported and honoured by her man to be her best self. When a wombman has a baby for you Bredren, she expects you to defend her and provide for her and give her all the love and attention she needs to be a Queen - it is not to say she shouldn't also be independent or have strong self esteem on her own, but she also needs to know she matters, this is just how a relationship works!

And what bothers me more than the selfish and promiscuous ways of Bredren, who idolize Solomon and Bob Marley; is the behaviour of the "outside" Wombman. How can a Dawta call herself a Virtuous Dawta if she is willingly pursuing a king who has a family? How can she call herself a Dawta of Menen if she is willing to destroy another wombman's marriage! This makes me sick to my stomach when I hear my Sistren talking about what other dawtas say and do to them!

Just because you see a man who is attractive doesn't mean you have to bed him. Just because a man gives you chat - which a man can't help but do - doesn't mean that you immediately claim him and imagine a future with him! What's more, do your research before you bed him, because a man will lie to get those panties down! And RastaMan dem seem to think they are entitled to this! In my opinion, too many Rastaman seeking to be a musical superstar which promotes promiscuity. InI need our kings to do other works that have greater value - doctors, lawyers, teachers, healers, builders, farmers! A raspectable life, not one that is filled with party and getting high.

 Dawtas, don't ever think to yourself that his wrongs can be your rights!  Don't ever think it is right to pursue another woman's husband, and throw it in her face - showing up at her gates cussing and threatening her to leave your relationship alone, sending her emails, trolling her social media, befriending her friends to make her feel insignificant and replaced! You cannot be here to replace her, especially when she has this man's children! You are making a fool of yourself and making a total mockery of Rastafari! And it is totally disraspectful to us all as a Sisterhood. And when he hides you away, and everything you do is in secret, you are living a lie that will damage you just as badly as her.

And Bredren this is true time and time again, you believe that you have a right to have as many women as you please, and refuse to accept any fingers pointed in your direction! You think that sweet talk and sex can get you everywhere all the time, but in the end you are only making yourself left dependable and less deserving of any wombman's attention, raspect or love. You betray the one who would give you the world for the sexual novelty of another. It isn't right to "chain up a woman's head" with "sweet nothings" - especially when you have a family at home somewhere! It isn't right to think you have a right to do what you want, with no repercussions, when you get home. To disappear for days or weeks at a time, and then reappear home with lies. It hurts your woman and your children. And when she has finally gotten herself together, picked up the pieces and moved on - you show up trying to topple what dignity she has left. You also wish to prevent her from finding another man who will treat her better than you "because those are your kids."

The inconsistencies and the ridiculous attitudes are not getting us anywhere - these issues make us like Babylon. These  relationship patterns degrade the Rastafari Nation. It needs to stop - just like the DOMESTIC VIOLENCE needs to STOP.

So overall, in any relationship struggle, my main piece of advice is to WORK HARD on the relationship, and NEVER TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED! SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER, COMMUNICATE PROPERLY and RASPECTFULLY. LISTEN AND HONOUR EACH OTHER's WISHES. BE TRUE TO SELF and to JAH, DON'T LIE TO YOURSELVES OR EACH OTHER.
How else can a mature and strong relationship last?
There is no happy home if only one person is struggling to fix things, to do what's right and just. It is an equal partnership. As long as you agree on the type of life you wish to live, and work equally hard to achieve that comfort level, then life can be stable and happy and last a long time! Why jeopardize a happy home for someone you really don't know. Why rush things with someone because of a physical attraction? Build on solid ground.

So I am asking you Bredren and Sistren, to do better, to act better and be better. Don't let your flesh rule your life. Think of others before yourself, and honour the promises you make - but don't make promises that are immoral either. And finally, Dawtas, don't think to yourself that you can change a man, don't take a man from his wife and then expect that he will be faithful to you. It is a continuous cycle and everyone will get burned - including the poor innocent yutes who are born from these unions.

What are we doing to one another Rastafari? Consider this. Dawtas should be working together not against one another. Get it together, conduct yourselves with pride and goodness. I know the flesh is weak, I know that sometimes we meet others who we are attracted to, but think before you act, and put righteousness first - I'm not talking about what the Bible says, but the basic hueman Iniversal laws of right and wrong, good and bad. Good vibes can be shared without leading to sex.You can't be Iritual and talk about living in the Light, if you are doing wrong things, making immoral decisions. Hypocrisy can't win for InI.
Any Dawta who feels the need to lash out at another, who wants to compete with other Sistren rather than unite with them, or who wants the life that another Dawta is living, has to really heal herself from her past life - she needs to take a giant step back and look at herself, her values and attitudes. Fix yourself and your ideals first and one day you can obtain a good man - one who is free to be with you and one who will strengthen you and build you up! Unless a Dawta is willing to be in a polygamous marriage, you must leave her family alone! Think about how you would feel if she had done that to you instead, put the shoe on the other foot and I guarantee that you would not like it!

And finally, Let InI be able to move forward and forgive one another as husband and wife. If you want to fix your relationship, be earnest about it and own up to your past mistakes. Be accountable for what you have done and do your best not to be that person anymore, especially because that person hurt used and abused others. Don't worry about what other people will say, you have to live your own life. There is no shame in wanting to put your family back together - just be sure not to go back if things have not improved. Actions speak louder than words, and a Dawta needs convincing action more than convincing words. TRUST is key to putting things right again, be worthy of that trust and earn that trust, don't betray that trust, because you have to think about how you can negatively affect others who depend on it.From all the wrongs you made in your past, let that part of you die and be reborn as a better person. to regret and to feel remorse is to avoid the same mistakes and destructive patterns.

So I hope that ones will seriously consider these words, and give good counsel to those around you, and take heed of your own thoughts and ways. I am not looking to point fingers and make ones feel bad about themselves, I am here to defend those sistren who message me in pain and I stand for the IDEAL that is being buried under social culture. Don't hide in the darkness, that is no way to live. Take my words as encouragement to do better, to admit to the wrongs in your life so that you may move forward. Rastafari cannot be like Christianity - the blood of a fictitious character cannot save anybody, nor can reading the Scriptures alone - you cannot do wrong and think that prayer or attending service is somehow going to fix everything. SELF ACCOUNTABILITY -  it is your desire to live a life in union with Kristos (knowledge and illumination of truth within) that will see you through. Once you know JAH truly, you will live a good life.

I Livicate  the entire album THE MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL to all Dawtas who are feeling it on both sides of this equation. Listen to Ms Hill's words and heal.

May JAH bless and protect and inspire ones to goodness,
Ila

Homemade Scalp and Beard Oil

Skin Scalp and Beard Oil Recipe

Today I prepared a lovely natural organic oil for the family – for skin, scalp and beard.  It was expensive to get everything but at least I know we will get a few uses or bottles out of them – they should last a while. Rastafari and Muslims here in Trinidad go to a store in Port of Spain called Mustafa’s. But they sell all kinds of essential oils, the raw black soap, shea and cocoa butters from Afrika. You can even get incense and musks, all types of shampoos and baby items – literally everything. You can buy in bulk or in small quantity which is great too. But its better to buy in bulk and store.
If you live in a cold place, this oil may become more of a butter that will soften when it makes contact with the skin, so you cannot use a container like what i did, but something with a wide mouth.

Also pictured below is Miswak flouride free all natural toothpaste. Lots of great tooth pastes and powders come to Trinidad out of India.

1.5 -2  cups cold-pressed coconut oil

1 cup a mixture of cocoa and shea butter (4 big pieces of cocoa butter and 2 spoons of shea butter)

1 tbsp jojoba oil

½ tsp of rosemary oil

½ tsp bergamot oil

½ tsp tea tree oil

5 drops of patchouli oil

1 tsp sweet almond

1 Container with a fine spout ( a plastic condiment container from a variety store or dollar store)

Metal container and pot it can fit into

Metal teaspoon

Now this is a thick mixture so if you know you hate a lot of oil, lessen the Shea and cocoa butter to quarter cup. Shea and cocoa butter can also cause build up on the locks but I find them to be such good moisturizers still.  Good thing about this recipe is that you can tweak it to suit your tastes. 
You can use a combination of two or more oils or just one oil even, like olive oil or the coconut or sweet almond or jojoba, they are all good hair oils on their own. 


NOTE: I have found that shea butter causes me to get a serious acne break out - so I remade this oil eliminating both butters  - instead To make a light and simple oil that won't cause breakouts I use the coldpressed coconut oil, rosemary oil, jojoba oil, sweet almond oil and bergamot oil. i use this on my entire body and scalp while the rest of the family uses the recipe with the butters for their scalp and beard only not body. Again you can tweak as you wish!

So to start:

Put some water in the pot, bring to boil.

Set the metal bowl into the pot and in it, melt cocoa and shea butter. Use a metal spoon. Turn off the stove when the pieces are tiny they will melt on their own. Remove the bowl and swizzle the melted butters in the breeze to cool it instantly.

Pour into the container it will be kept it. Add in the other oils and cover. missing is the tea tree oil from the picture. in the line you can see how much from each bottle I used.

Apply this oil directly to the scalp and ends of natty after a hair wash. Massage the oil into the scalp and locks. Apply directly to the skin under the beard and massage well. I don't usually reapply to scalp unless I have an itchy area. I use shea butter to make the front hairs and my ends moist. Keeping the ends moist reduce split ends and breakage or shedding of the locks.

These particular oils chosen are good for skin and blemishes. They also nourish the skin/scalp improving wool and skin quality. The natty crown will have more lustre and be stronger, grow abundantly.  I recommend using this mixture should along with pure water and pure Afrikan black soap, to clear up acne and dandruff issues – and for the general maintenance of all nattys in the family! I will also be using it for underarms, and for blemishes on my face in hopes of reducing breakouts.

Here are some pictures of what I did for my princess today. I washed, dried for a bit then I separated her locks because our hair tends to matt up very badly. I then applied the oil all over her scalp directly and rubbed it in and palm rolled each after. I didn’t need to reapply oil very often the oil spread well.

Stay blessed and in good health!

Ila